An Interesting Day in Eagleland
by Eikichi
Summary: Yet another of Apple Kid's inventions turns out to prove fatal - for Pokey Minch, anyway.


An Interesting Day in Eagleland  
  
Rated: G  
  
Description: Ever wonder what KINDS of inventions Apple Kid REALLY works on? Well, now you get to find out the purpose for ONE of them.  
  
P.S. I don't own Earthbound or Zoolander. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------  
  
It was a nice sunny day, and unfortunately for Apple Kid, those were the most tormenting. That was BECAUSE he was a champion inventor, and he knew that although it was a beautiful day outside, his genius's intentions begged him to stay inside and invent some more.  
  
So he did.  
  
"This SUCKS!!!" Apple Kid cursed. "Look at that weather........I think it'd be best if it was raining. THAT way, I'd be able to stay inside and work on my latest invention without having to feel guilty....."  
  
He sighed and continued working on his latest invention, a contraption that could turn even the ugliest person into a beautiful/handsome fame icon. He figured he could really reel in the bucks with this thing......  
  
"Done!" He said happily after half-an-hour's work. "Now I wonder what homely person I can test this on....."  
  
He sat and sat for hours on end, wondering who to pick to be the gerbil for the invention. Finally, he gave up. He stormed out of the room in a huff, done for the day.  
  
At that moment, someone pounded on the front door.  
  
"I know you're in there, pig butt!!!" The annoying voice hollered, followed by more banging. Finally, the door was barged down to reveal a VERY fat blond kid who in most ways resembled a pig.  
  
"T-that sounded like the FRONT DOOR got barged down!!!" Apple Kid nervously stammered, hiding in the other room. "I hope it's not a burglar...."  
  
"Hey baseball boy! I know you're in here." The ugly pig boy shouted.  
  
Apple Kid picked up a baseball bat and ran into the living room, getting ready to bash the "burglar"'s brains out. But upon seeing the un- welcome guest, he dropped the bat and stared.  
  
"Uh, wrong house Pokey." Apple Kid said wittily.  
  
"Where's that annoying Ness?" Pokey asked.  
  
"As you can see, this is NOT Ness's house. It's MY house. And you need to remove yourself from MY house right now." Apple Kid demanded.  
  
"Oh, well sorry. Hey, what's that thing?" Pokey asked, running over to the invention and examining it. "Looks like some thing from a Sci-Fi movie."  
  
"Don't touch that!!!" Apple Kid snapped.  
  
"What, THIS?" Pokey taunted, and pressed the button on the device. A bright light filled the room, blinding both children. When it finally faded, Apple Kid rubbed his eyes.  
  
"Okay, Pokey. I've had about all I can't stand, and I can't stand no more. Now GET O-"  
  
Apple Kid froze.  
  
In Pokey's place was a very tall, NOT fat, and surprisingly handsome guy.  
  
Apple Kid blinked.  
  
"Pokey!" Apple Kid said, amazed. "Y...you look.......m-my invention WORKS!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WORKS!!!!"  
  
"What invention?" Pokey asked, in a voice that was about as smooth and charming as his former self's voice was harsh and annoying.  
  
"And you SOUND great! It even works on vocals!!! Oh wow.....I have GOT to get this thing patented!" Apple Kid raved, picking up his remote-control like invention and phoning the place that deals with invention patenting - a number he had memorized and dialed many times before.  
  
"I think I'll go for a walk...." The new-and-improved Pokey muttered, striding out of the broken front door while Apple Kid began to chatter to the invention-patenting person over the other line about his new invention.  
  
He hadn't even taken three steps out of the house before a girl he didn't even know rushed up to him and began talking to him.  
  
"Ohhh WOWWWW," she sighed in adoration, "I've never met such a cute guy! Are you one of those male models?"  
  
"Like Derek Zoolander?" Pokey asked amusedly.  
  
The girl swooned and nearly fainted. "And you've got a GREAT sense of humor too! Ohhhh......." Suddenly, she shoved a piece of paper and a pen in his direction. "Can I have your autograph?"  
  
"Uh, sure......." Pokey replied, and took the piece of paper and pen in hand. As he signed it, he began thinking.  
  
(I can't believe this. I thought it would be all over once my Spider Mech broke down and I lost to that jerk Ness. But now, for some reason everyone loves me!) He brooded.  
  
"Thank you sooooo much." The girl giggled before walking off and talking to some of her friends nearby.  
  
"Isn't that guy sooooo cute?" She told her friends, pointing to Pokey.  
  
They all looked at Pokey and nearly died on the spot. In an instant, they all began running after him, screaming at him to give them his autograph and other posessions of his.  
  
"This is NUTS!!!" Pokey fumed mentally as he ran away from the obsessive girls. He ran until he was back at Apple Kid's house, and with all the luck, ran smack into Paula.  
  
"Huh?" Paula asked, looking up at Pokey. "Do I know you?"  
  
"Paula, it's me Pokey!!!!" Pokey introduced nervously. "Listen. I barged into Apple Kid's house thinking it was Ness's house, and I found this invention and I pressed the shiny button on it and it somehow made everyone like me!!!!!" Pokey said all in one big breath.  
  
Paula blinked.  
  
"You....don't believe me, do you." Pokey sighed.  
  
"Pokey.....you're so......" Paula said.  
  
"Stupid?" Pokey asked.  
  
"So....."  
  
"Thick-skulled?"  
  
".........HANDSOME!!!"  
  
Pokey was on the verge of going insane. "OH NO NOT YOU TOO!!!!" He cried, backing away from Paula.  
  
"I can't believe Apple Kid did you this favor! You look wonderful!!!" Paula cooed, cuddling up to him. At this moment, the possible worst REALLY began to set in. Ness, who was walking his dog King down the sidewalk at this moment, stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Paula and.....that guy.  
  
He ran forward, leaving King to run around aimlessly and bark. He tapped Paula on the shoulder.  
  
"Paula...." Ness fumed. "Who is this GUY you are with?"  
  
"You don't recognize him?" Paula smiled. "It's Pokey!"  
  
Ness swore that his jaw had just hit the sidewalk.  
  
"THAT'S Pokey?!?!?" Ness screeched. "No way! That guy's WAY cooler than-"  
  
"Well, guess what. It IS me, pig's butt. And guess what? Looks like I also got your girl." Pokey sneered in a way that resembled his former pudgy self.  
  
"YOU JERK!!!!" Ness screamed, rushing forward to assail a rain of punches and kicks in Pokey's direction. Since his new looks had also endowed him with a nice muscular build, Pokey reached out and placed a hand on Ness's head, holding him away from him with unparalleled ease.  
  
"Keep tryin'." Pokey yawned. Suddenly, his short moment of glory was cut short by the oncoming crowd of squealing, screaming girls, including the one he met when he first stepped outside.  
  
"Sorry Paula and Ness, but I gotta bail....." Pokey nervously stammered, high-tailing it for Apple Kid's house. He barely made it inside, slamming the door behind him and running to the inventor child.  
  
"Apple Kid!!! Change me back!!!" Pokey demanded.  
  
Apple Kid smiled.  
  
"No-can-do, my most improved friend. The National Association of  
  
Inventors patented my invention, and they demand a commercial about it right away. They ask for a photo of your former self, a nice pic of you now, a detailed list of the components and benefits associated with my invention, a......."  
  
  
  
Pokey's eyes grew wider and wider......  
  
  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
~@ The End @~ 


End file.
